May is Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month and Mental Health Awareness month..coincidence?

Are you feeling the weight of being a physician and the never-ending high expectations as an Asian American? You are not alone. In this newsletter kicking off both AAPI Heritage Month as well as Mental Health Awareness month, I want to share my own journey down these two unforgiving paths, as well as how I learned to make peace with them and myself.

The Venn diagram of Asian American and Physician nearly killed me

Between growing up with my grandpa always asking, “Why only a 99 on this test?” and acceptance rates for med school at 8% when I applied (they’re sitting at 43% in 2025, I checked), overachieving was just as much a prerequisite for med school as my MCAT score. That pressure to achieve and excel, without any regard for the toll it took on my body and soul, drove me to some pretty dark places. After a dash of disordered eating in med school and a night of staring at a bridge, thinking it a viable way out of residency, I had to confront these unforgiving masters before they literally took my life.

View from the Throgs Neck Bridge in Queens NY. Pretty isn’t it?

Being ME saved me.

After 2 decades of living up to everyone else’s desires and goals for myself and bearing the scars of that, I had to admit that being the perfect “fill in the blank..daughter, Asian, doctor, granddaughter….”, wasn’t working. At the ripe age of 28, I decided the only way to survive life was to do it, a la Frank Sinatra, MY WAY. It was time to step into the unknown, my authentic self.

Slow and steady it goes..towards mental health

It was terrifying to leave the security of a clearly defined career. It was devastating to lose the support of my family. But I did it anyway. My life depended on it. I started pursuing my own passions of performing. I fully enjoyed the freedom from 80 hour weeks and chronic sleep deprivation. A one year hiatus provided me the rest, respite, and renewed vigor for life. With some acting credits under my belt, I returned to residency with a strength and clarity I never had before.

What awaited me when I got back blew my mind…(you wanna read next week’s newsletter, don’t you!?)

If you’ve ever struggled with anything like this or are currently struggling now, let this be the wakeup call. You’re not alone and you don’t have to be. Take it from someone who’s survived the dark night of the soul; joy and freedom lie on the other side of fear.

Please share this message and the link to support with anyone you know who might benefit.

https://GuidingClaritySchedulingLink.as.me/