A Penny for Your Thoughts-Suicide Prevention Strategies
How do you save a life in crisis?
I did series of vlogs a few years back on Physician Suicide with my colleagues at The Happy MD. In part 1, We talked about our own personal stories of suicidal ideation and the darkness that comes for all of us. ( https://youtu.be/zC_YanMxQCk) In Part 2, we discussed warning signs to look out for that may signal someone in distress. I want to focus on that today, because you might be able to save someone’s life, with just a few tools and insights under your belt. Here’s the video if you want to watch:
Early warning signs you can act on
For me, as I felt worse and worse about myself and my options to escape my misery, I found myself wanting to avoid talking or interacting with people. I didn’t want them to see my misery, I didn’t want them to know what I was thinking about, and I certainly didn’t want to make small talk. I stopped eating lunch with my co-residents, preferring to just eat alone in a call room. I said very little when I was out with friends, just smiled and laughed at all their stories. When asked about what I was doing, I had a standard response of being very tired all the time, nothing going on over here, nothing to see or talk about.
Social and interpersonal withdrawal can be a hallmark that someone’s mood and mindset is drifting towards a darker, more depressive or resigned state.
Other hallmark signs of burnout that may lead to suicidal ideation include:
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Exhaustion, either mental or physical-someone looking tired all the time or reporting that they are tired, even after a long weekend or vacation
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Cynicism-having to vent about everything or use sarcasm and biting remarks to simply get through the day, or seeing everything and everyone as wrong all the time.
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Lack of Personal Efficacy-feeling like or stating that there is no point, you don’t make a difference, nothing you do matters
If you see or hear any of these symptoms, your colleague or friend may be in trouble.
Say Something, Anything..and Say it Again
Humans are a proud and stubborn group. No one likes to admit that they are struggling. No one wants to be seen as weak. It’s not uncommon for someone who is in great pain, to simply say, “I’m fine”, when they are anything but.
Your job as a friend or concerned colleague is to notice that they’re showing any of these hallmark signs of exhaustion, cynicism, withdrawal or lack of efficacy, and just tell them that you notice. And that you care. And then, rinse and repeat. Even if they say that they’re fine, just keep showing up with compassion and love. It may take a few times, but I can almost guarantee you that your kindness will land and will become the lifeline that someone in crisis can eventually grab onto.
In the video, when my mentor Dr Drummond asked me “What would it have felt like if someone showed you that they cared?”, I became super emotional. I think I would have crumbled, I would have bawled my eyes out, I would have broken down and fallen into their arms of support. I would not have felt so alone. And maybe I wouldn’t have wound up at the bridge.
Showing that you care and that you SEE them is the greatest gift you can give to someone in crisis.
Together, We can Save Lives
I hope this helps give everyone a few insights and tools to use. As we discuss in the video, creating a community of compassion and kindness is a great way to prevent the social isolation that leads to suicidal ideation.
Let’s be kind to one another. Let’s be brave and extend a loving hand. Let’s see each other and just show up for each other.
If anyone is feeling lost or the symptoms I described above resonate with you, know that I am here, with open arms, love, support, and resources for you. Reach out, I’m here waiting.
Thanks for reading and take good care of yourselves.